chicago! or "how i was almost killed by a mexican"

so, i recently took a trip to chicago to visit my niece.

and my brother's dog otis.

oh, and then these people named jason and jessie insisted on hanging around.

jk! just kidding! they are my brother and brother's baby momma. also they're engaged to be wed, so all you religious types out there don't trip out.
anyway. it was a pretty great trip. i mean if you know me, and i assume you do because you're reading this blog, then you know how much i LOVE babies. the only thing i love more than babies is k$sha. and the movie 8mm.
the greatest thing about babies is that they crap on themselves and DON'T EVEN CARE! could you imagine having enough self confidence to just shit in your pants and not worry what anyone else thinks? my goodness! and the last time i threw up on someone i was super embarrassed. a baby will throw up on you and instead of apologizing will DO IT AGAIN. as if to say, "oh perhaps you'd like some more of my puke on you. in case you didn't get enough the first time!" they don't even care what shirt you're wearing! babies, i salute you. sometimes i'll cry, but i'm always sure to lock myself in my dark bedroom and turn the music up real loud so no one can hear my sobs. babies? they'll wail and wail and wail and then generally instead of looking around uncomfortably as everyone stares, they'll just fall asleep. they're so relaxed!
babies, confident and relaxed. and they're like rich people, aren't they? they have servants! and they don't even have to pay them. could you imagine if you had someone to bring you food all the time and even put it in your mouth for you?! and people to change your clothes. and hold you and rock you. damn, wouldn't that be something? you'd be just like carlton on the fresh prince of bel air.
or one of those rich oil guys.
well, besides the baby, i did some serious budweiser drinking. and food eating. and sleeping. i was pretty much a lazy gluttonous bastard. perfect. that's what vacations are for, right?


in other news, a mexican almost beat me up for flipping him off in traffic. lesson learned. don't flip mexicans off because there's a good chance that it wasn't even them honking at you in the first place. lo siento, mi amigo. lo siento.

I AM NOT A NERD!

but i love battlestar galactica!



come on people! it's not like i'm watching star trek or something.
totally different.

warpaint

psyched to see the guys (ladies) march 20th at the neumos.

books!

before the combination of television and the internet, i considered myself a reader. but thanks to hulu and streaming netflix, i'm now a watcher...
sometimes i miss reading. if only they still made books...
here is an extensive list of books i've read.
not just to make me look smart, but also to provide you with some recommendations. you know, just in case you have a kindle or something.

prep sittenfeld - i've never felt more like a 16 year old girl than when i read this.
catcher in the rye salinger (also franny and zooey)
city of theives benioff
books by murakami wind-up bird chronicle, kafka on the shore, a wild sheep chase
books by eggers a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, you shall know our velocity, what is the what - he might be pretty arrogant, but he writes a mean book. his description of a kidney stone in a heartbreaking work is pretty spot on.
the bus driver who wanted to be god keret - great short stories
visiting hours wunderlee - if nothing else, this guy is handsome.
books by shtyengart the russian debutante's handbook and absurditan - hilarious. who knew russians could be so funny? because there's nothing funny about perestroika.
history of love krauss - if you want to have your heart broken, read this.
books by jonathan safran foer everything is illuminated, extremely loud and incredibly close, eating animals
drop city boyle - hippies move to alaska!
DO NOT READ WATER FOR ELEPHANTS OR A MILLION LITTLE PIECES
books by ian mcewan saturday, atonement, amsterdam
never let me go ishiguro
disgrace coetzee - whoa, heavy.
books by zadie smith white teeth, the autograph man, on beauty
the curious incident of the dog in the night time haddon - nice one from an autistic kid's perspective.
life of pi martel
persepolis satrapi - or just watch the movie. it's a cartoon!
snow pamuk
rabbit, run updike
the bell jar plath - i'm not even finished with this one yet, but it's blog worthy.
cat's cradle vonnegut
the sea banville - if you do read water for elephants, read a book like this after to restore your faith in the literary world. mike tyson could write a best seller.
the road mccarthy
on the road kerouac - he's clearly on a different road than cormac mccarthy's road.
in cold blood capote - a book by philip seymour hoffman.
fear and loathing in las vegas thompson - that's a lot of drugs.
the great gatsby fitzgerald
the known world jones
the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay chabon (and mysteries of pittsburgh)
middlesex eugenides - just skip the first hundred or so pages like i did.
motherless brooklyn lethem
interpreter of maladies lahiri
the secret history tartt

still more baby

not to be outdone (and maybe crying out for some lost attention), my brother's dog OTIS had an armless, torsoless baby of his own:


is it just me, or there a resemblance here:

more baby!

since i don't have much going on, i will probably just post pics of charlotte everyday from here on out...
you're welcome.



(a team of surgeons removed her arms, legs, and torso and left just the head...)

uncle follow up

just to revisit an old post...
and since i'm sure you're all dying of impatience to know...
as of 8:15 am PST today, i'm an uncle!
so psyched.
charlotte kathryn.
7 lbs 5 ozs.
born without hands. but beautiful besides...