Sunday, June 6, 2010

my ego got kicked in the nuts.

or lee-go my ego.
which is a better title?
anyway. yesterday was the ballard twilight crit. an exciting bike race through the streets of historic ballard.
like an idiot, i didn't preregister. didn't even think to. and the cat 4/5 race filled the hell up. all 75 spots. you'd think that if there were 75 people signed up BEFORE the day of, and 30 more people on the wait list, they'd split the groups. race fours and rives separately. but that's not up to me.
so, anyway, i also qualify as a "master" because i'm at least 35. so, i decided to give that race a try. it's generally regarded as a safer and faster race than the 4/5 race. i definitely like the safer aspect. but the faster part? i was a bit worried going in, knowing that a lot of the masters were 1s and 2s. or just "old" guys that have been racing forever.
the race got off to a bad start in two ways:
first. before the race even started. i was standing around the finish line watching the cat 4/5 race and watched some guy crash. he didn't slide out or skid, or fall over. he flipped over his bars and slammed into the ground. where he lay motionless. on his stomach. he DIDN'T move. i guess he must've been unconscious. i dunno. he ultimately came around and was yelling for someone to help him. the paramedics had responded quickly and were doing their part. but it was disturbing for sure. and disheartening. the race was eventually stopped. and he was carted off on a back board. he gave a thumbs up on his way out. so, hopefully he'll be alright. probably sore as hell today. as i was watching that i thought i should go get my entry fee back and call it a day. still recovering from my crash. but then i reminded myself that the masters would be safer.
second. when our race started, like an idiot (again with the idiocy) i couldn't get clipped into my pedal. so as we took off from the start, i spent the entire time to the first corner only half pedaling, half trying to clip in. watching the pack pull away.
i spent the next few laps just trying to hang on, move up. anything. but with no luck. i couldn't catch back on. try as i might. some other folks and i got gapped and pulled from the race after about ten minutes.
here's a pic of me before the bottom fell out.

it was a blow to the ego for sure. especially after feeling pretty good in the crit i did on thursday.
i rode home with my tail between my legs and thoughts of selling my bike to look for a new sport.
what's next? i feel like i have to go back to the training drawing board and work on the fitness. i dunno. maybe i just have to race to be a better racer. but it sure leaves a bad taste in one's mouth when you can't even finish a race. it was reminiscent of the capital crit i did last year. my first race. same result. pulled. at least this time i didn't cry.
how's THAT for mental toughness?

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