still more baby

not to be outdone (and maybe crying out for some lost attention), my brother's dog OTIS had an armless, torsoless baby of his own:


is it just me, or there a resemblance here:

more baby!

since i don't have much going on, i will probably just post pics of charlotte everyday from here on out...
you're welcome.



(a team of surgeons removed her arms, legs, and torso and left just the head...)

uncle follow up

just to revisit an old post...
and since i'm sure you're all dying of impatience to know...
as of 8:15 am PST today, i'm an uncle!
so psyched.
charlotte kathryn.
7 lbs 5 ozs.
born without hands. but beautiful besides...

my grammy recap

it turns out the grammys is not a tv show dedicated to grandparents.
it has to do with MUSIC. and according to grammy dot com, it's "music's biggest night." so since i am a well respected music critic, i will recap this awards program for you here:

lady antebellum won song of the year and record of the year.

well deserved. well deserved. lady antebellum has released a great song and album. musically and lyrically it cannot be topped. my only question is:
who the fuck is lady antebellum?! and how did they win a music award?!
that's two questions. but seriously.
lady antebellum beat cee lo green for this award. cee lo green responded to losing by issuing this statement:
"fuck you. and fuck you too."

katy perry was nominated for an award or seven. she's got real talent. and she loves showing them off. and by "them," i mean her boobs.

the best pop vocal album came down to these artists: lady gaga, katy perry, john mayer, justin bieber, and susan boyle?! one of these nominees is not like the others... this one:

best hard rock performance took us back to the 90s: nominees included alice in chains, soundgarden, stone temple pilots, and ozzy osbourne. I'm pretty sure all these lead singers died of heroin overdoses. especially ozzy osbourne. he's the most dead of them all.

but seriously folks, ozzy still looks great for being 97 years old. and dead.
them crooked vultures ultimately took home the award. which is fine. because i do love them crooked vultures.
i'm also not afraid to say that i'm a fan of eminem. and he won an award or two as well. but what happened to his face?!


OMG, el debarge was nominated for a grammy too!

arcade fire won album of the year with the suburbs. and THIS is a great album. but what's the difference between album of the year and record of the year?

if i learned anything from this year's grammy awards it's that i don't know who the hell any of these people are (bruno mars? esperanza spalding? sara bareilles? robert plant?). and also that music makes me angry.

this, on the other hand, does NOT make me angry:


(oh, and i DO know who robert plant is. i was jk'ing. just kidding ing)

thanks

it was only a matter of time, but my readership has gone global.
i'm basically facebook. minus the poking and the billions of dollars.
but really, pretty much the same.

well, i wanted to take this opportunity to recognize you, the readers, and give thanks (and also to give over-punctuated sentences).

so, thank you.
and "ta" to the australians.
"danke" to my austrian readers.
(contrary to popular belief, austria and australia are not the same)
"merci" to the french.
"gracias, amigos" to the south (LA and mexico)
if you live in malaysia, i hope you speak english and understand "thank you." or maybe if i said it louder, you'd understand... THANK YOU. because as we know, SPEAKING LOUDER TO SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH MAKES THEM UNDERSTAND.
(sunbears live in malaysia)
"thanks, guv'nah" to those of you in the UK.
and "maraming salamat" to my friends in the philippines. who is this, by the way?

if you weren't thanked here, you're not reading. you know who you are, spain. china. kazakhstan.

and now a moment of beauty and inspiration:

meaty meat palace

when i lived in LA i would often drive by this place:

i never stopped there, but i always wondered what kind of establishment it was. i think maybe it was a cobbler. or a graphic design firm.
in a totally unrelated topic (one very close to my heart - literally and figuratively): the eating of MEAT.
i don't do it. and i don't suggest that you do it.
but if you INSIST on doing it, you should do it at my friend cormac's new restaurant: the meaty meat palace. aka MADISON PARK CONSERVATORY.
it's in madison park. all the way down by the water. there used to be a different restaurant there, but that restaurant sucked. like any other restaurant in comparison. the conservatory is really cool. as is the staff. and the food is... to die for. well, the food died for you. like jesus did for us. the food here is like jesus. you can get vegan dishes like foie gras, beef tongue, quail, elk shank, pig fat roasted potatoes, vegetables in meat sauce, meat with meat sauce, meaty meat meat slices wrapped in meat and served with meat sauce... okay, maybe the last few of those aren't on the menu, but the fancy stuff is. and they DO have a couple vegetarian items: there's an emmer dish (i got without cheese) that's fantastic. and there's some salads (i think the croutons in the caesar salad are cooked in anchovy oil) and a lentil and carrot dish. and kale! and if all that doesn't sound delicious, well, you're an idiot.
so, go there. and get fed. and feel full and happy. and then feel bad that all those animals died for your sins.
oh, they also have booze. and who doesn't like booze?
(and if you're lucky, tilson will join you for dinner)

happy new year.

2010 sucked for a lot of reasons and was pretty sweet for a lot of reasons.
let's hope that in 2011 sweet > suck.

i've resolved to stop smoking. walk 30 minutes three times a week to TAME THAT BULGE. volunteer to help others. use the word "quixotic" more. eat macadamia nuts. blink less. wear an ascot. look to the left when i'm lost in thought as opposed to right. drink more beer and LESS water. make my own blog. drive from here to there. think about sex at least once a day. open doors with my left hand. speak only when spoken to. kill a terrorist. clone a goat. learn to read. shake weight. when writing use "your" instead of "you're." and i want to look like this:

and most importantly: work like i don't need money, love like i've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.